


in the rain

by spiritscript



Series: Haikyuu!! & The Japanese House [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Confessions, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Pining, Third Year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:14:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27581198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiritscript/pseuds/spiritscript
Summary: It’s grey.“Have you,” he stops and searches Shouyou’s face. He wonders what he looks like to Tobio right now, he cannot tell how he feels himself, his stomach and heart and head a conglomeration of messy feelings melding and warping into something like a dirty, muddy, tertiary colour. His face feels stiff. He wants to show him something he thought he already knew, but isn’t quite sure he knows himself.“Have you thought about what I said?”Revelations in the rain
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Series: Haikyuu!! & The Japanese House [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2016074
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	in the rain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [d_fenestrate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/d_fenestrate/gifts).



> Heavily inspired by [ Cool Blue by The Japanese House](https://open.spotify.com/track/0Lbe98RKWwBbu1sipPSa4n?si=ieBkboagRceywOZ6WJSgOw) if you wanna listen to that too and all her music in general

It’s grey.

The clouds have rolled over and tumbled into the sky to obscure the space beyond and shelter the sun from the pitiful land made miserable below. Around them, the fat raindrops plop to the ground in grand gestures and splash weakly against their shoes. They run, pretending they hope to leave the other behind, but instead moving in accidental tandem until the rain hits harder, dragged to earth ever more cruelly, and they move into the shelter of a bus stop. Maybe they can wait it out. 

It begins to get darker as he begins to speak.

“Hinata,” it flutters out from between his lips so small and fragile it’s almost whipped away by the gentle breeze. A small rivulet has begun to form in the gutter and a leaf is chased by a torn crisp packet in front of them.

He pretends he didn’t hear him, fixing his eyes on the chase.

“Shouyou,” it’s impossibly softer than before.

It’s grey. 

Shouyou turns to look up at him and makes himself grin brightly in the rapidly darkening evening.

“You’re kinda scary when you _try_ to be serious—”

He’s cut off by a gentle kick to his leg.

Sighing deeply, with a slight raggedness to it, Tobio steps out from the shelter and looks up at the sky. Hinata watches as his hair becomes slick with the saltless tears pouring from above; his track jacket isn’t suited to this weather, already sticking and clinging to his strong back. They hadn't expected rain.

“Bakageyama you’ll catch a cold,” he reaches for the other boy's arm to tug him back into the minimal shelter they have, but Tobio doesn’t let himself be pulled, instead simply turning to look directly at Shouyou. 

In the darkness of the evening and under the streetlights that seem to be getting brighter with every breath, Tobio looks paler than usual—his burning sapphire eyes so clear as the water clings to his eyelashes, attempting and failing to obscure the piercing colour, before falling to the footpath, and being swept away once again to soak into the ground before eventually evaporating and returning to the clouds.

There’s a lot of time before that. 

It’s grey.

“Have you,” Tobio stops and searches his face. He wonders what he looks like to him right now, he can’t tell how he feels himself, his stomach and heart and head a conglomeration of messy feelings melding and warping into something like a dirty, muddy, tertiary colour. His face feels stiff. He wants to show him something he thought Tobio already knew, but isn’t quite sure he knows himself.

“Have you thought about what I said?”

They haven’t talked about it since, but he has, just a few times. 

It’s grey.

That’s a lie. He has. A lot. It was all he could think about for almost two weeks now. It was with him every moment of every day and well into the nocturnal hours of black nights, stirring up the sediment of all those feelings until one was almost indistinguishable from the next. 

It is all he can think about.

Shouyou always moves fast. Maybe it’s because he was once so far behind, he learned to move too fast. He taught himself to rely on speed and intuition to just keep moving, push harder, forge ahead. If they can’t see you, they can’t stop you; if they can’t stop you, they can’t beat you. 

Hinata Shouyou moves fast so he’s not left behind. 

Yet it had made him slow. At some point, he went too far too fast and didn’t know he needed to stop, turn around, and go back over that distance already travelled because he had missed something important along the way. And that distance had become so big without him knowing. It slowed him down. He became slow.

He’s selfish. He’s always known it. He does things for himself. He moved fast because it suited him, he pushed others harder because it suited him, and now he’s taking his time because it suits him. 

It’s grey.

It only took three words spoken almost monotonously but clearly schooled to be under a warm, red face almost hidden in a green scarf surrounded by white walls.

And they haunted him.

No. He haunted himself.

Hinata Shouyou knows enough about himself to know that he’s selfish and that he moves so fast it makes him slow and that makes him fickle and that he’s not going to change and that he’s not enough.

Whether it’s his height or his skills or his academics or an ability to reciprocate the soft, tender feelings of Kageyama Tobio, he knows he’s not enough. And it haunts him. He haunts himself; his inadequacies made not tangible but metaphorically sentient enough to reach out, through his chest, and into his ribcage to squeeze his pink heart until it sputtered out feelings he had moved too fast to comprehend and that had settled and embedded themselves into the thick, muscular walls of his heart. And he had moved too fast to see it happen, not noticing until he was told to stop, come back, and look.

Sleep hadn’t come easy to him since then; lying awake instead under a harsh black sky with all this knowledge he should have known, feeling as if he could drown because his legs were so tired from running too far, too fast, because he’s selfish and he’s not going to change: he’s going to Brazil. He’s chasing something bigger than him and that lies in green and yellow and rich royal blue.

Tobio is blue too.

It’s grey.

“I have,” Shouyou says and finds he can’t meet those burning blue eyes, looking instead at the clouds behind him, and the blurry lines of buildings warped by the rain .

Blue is so often called cold, said to be sad, aligned with loneliness. Red is supposed to be warm; the colour of passion, fire, speed, adrenaline. But Shouyou has always found comfort in blue. He’s experienced it maybe more than most people. Every facet and every torrent it could possibly encapsulate.

Tobio is blue.

For the longest time Shouyou thought he too was a royal blue, that which would grace the finest courts and kill the unskilled and uneducated. 

But it soon settled and as if in rain, it was washed away, watered itself down to near translucency. It was so weak it could barely call itself a colour and he seemed to lose himself. Tobio became lost but Shouyou was the one to show him how to reclaim it, blue did not have to be rich, royal and unyielding; and from the remnants he built himself up. Overlapping paints until he reclaimed his colour, finding his place on a new throne of a new court.

He is a calm, cool blue.

A comforting blue, the pure heat of complete combustion that could burn away your deficiency, the shocking cold of ice over a clear sea that could freeze and crumble your misgivings. Neither. Both. Entirely comfortable and exactly what is needed for someone who always moves too fast and too slow, and burns too bright he becomes cold, for someone who isn’t enough.

“I’m leaving, you know I’m leaving,” that blue is eclipsed now, obscured now with something dark, only the faintest of light peeking through where it once was.

It’s grey.

“I know.”

“I have to go, you know I have to. I have to catch up and I can’t give up, not even for you.”

“I don’t want you to. I’ll wait for you. As long as you need. I’ll wait for you.”

It’s blue.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy (early) Birthday K!! It had to be left a little bit open/angsty for the local angst gremlin. Also this is the fic where I said I was writing about the sky. Unfortunately this is another occurrence of us being,,,, similar,,,,,, _deep sigh_ ew.
> 
> To everyone else, hi I'm Nae ([can be found lurking in the shadows here](https://twitter.com/ohmiyamy/status/1328689442224287746?s=19)) and this is my first time writing kghn so I hope I did okay and you enjoyed!!
> 
> A massive massive THANK YOU to Hannah ([ao3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarins/pseuds/lunarins) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/hanoorins)) for being a beta for this !!


End file.
